A World Full of Sexually Aggressive Gorillas Smiling and Winking At You

Or as something I read recently put it,

Guys, imagine the world is full of 300 pound NFL linebackers who are sexually interested in you. Most are polite and even likable, but some noticeable fraction of them are total creeps. They give you a knowing smile and wink, maybe even a kissy-face. Some fraction of these are true sexual predators, who would overpower you if they got you alone. Suppose that your only chance at having a successful love life is to navigate this sea of potential predators, who on average have twice as much upper body strength as you do. Think about how uncomfortable it would be to have so much unwanted attention, happening suddenly and unexpectedly from any member of this brutishly-strong half of the human species.

(Paraphrasing from the book Mate by Geoffrey Miller and Tucker Max, which is sort of an evolutionary psychology view of dating and coupling.)

Interestingly enough, Louis CK said something very similar.

If you're a guy, try to imagine that you could only date a half-bear, half-lion. "I hope this one's nice. I hope he doesn't do [raises eyebrows] what he's going to do."

I'm thinking back to when I was younger and a lot more socially clueless than I am today. I probably did not understand this dynamic. "Gee, just decline the unwanted advances. What's the big deal?" I definitely think it's possible to overdo the stigma and to categorize normal-but-unwanted sexual advances as "misconduct." But, Jesus, what a dangerous minefield to have to navigate. Even if there is an initial mutual interest, differing expectations can lead to a dangerous conflict with someone who can overpower you. I can't even imagine. Not even with the vivid scenarios spelled out above.
____________________________________________

BTW, I think Louis CK's sex scandal thing was "kind of gross," but not some kind of terrible sex crime.  He claimed it was consensual, while acknowledging that the women would have had a hard time saying "No". If that's accurate, I'd put it in the category of "Gross, but I wish I didn't know those kinds of embarrassing details of someone's awkward sex life." I don't think he deserves the "celebrity career death penalty" for it. If it turns out that he actually barred the door to block the escape route and made repeated advances toward these women, like Harvey Weinstein apparently did, then I'll change my tune. I think it's unfortunate that these things happened at the same time, because they are categorically different. I also don't quite buy that Louis CK had "power" in any meaningful sense in the early 2000s, when those events happened. Certainly not the "I can make or break your career" kind of power that Weinstein had, and even if  he did it isn't clear that he threatened or implied he would use it. I wish the news-reading public had enough bandwidth to process the nuance in these kinds of stories, rather than lumping everything superficially similar into the same category.